Green: Where Justice and Mercy Meet

A pastor friend announced one day he was offended by God’s justice.  He loved and understood His mercy, but he did not like God’s sense of justice.  Listening to my friend, I realized I was offended not by God’s justice but by His mercy.

I used to exist in the gray areas; I was not given to black and white thinking.  I could see both sides of issues and accept or mete out discipline tempered with grace.  I even tried to explain gray thinking to people for whom the world was black and white.

One day my gray world changed.  A consequence was issued that seemed too full of grace – it appeared wildly unmerited to me.  I understood the reasons, but there was not enough justice.  Most likely I felt this way because I was personally invested in the matter.  I felt betrayed.  Suddenly the gray area faded.  I saw the world as black and white and knew clearly where I stood. 

God has tried to get me to see through His eyes since then.  He’s reminded me He, too, was betrayed.  He’s allowed me to receive mercy.  He’s allowed me to extend mercy.  I’ve witnessed large-scale injustice and large-scale mercy.  He led me to Jonah, holding him as a looking glass in which I might see my reflection.  He’s been gentle and loving and persistent.

My pastor friend recently reminded me we sometimes slip into a slimy pit, and the only way out is with Jesus’ help. When we are in a pit, we, like Peter, after betraying Jesus three times, return to what is familiar.  For Peter the familiar was fishing.  For me, returning to the familiar felt right, justifiable – hey, I needed, no deserved, a rest.  It was okay there with the familiar until I said no to God.  I realized then I was in a pit, a warm, slimy, colorless yet dark pit.

As I contemplated the black and white issue in my life, I felt God inviting me back to the middle ground between mercy and justice.  You see, these areas really aren’t black and white and gray.  They actually have color.  I was seeing mercy as black instead of blue like the coolness of refreshing water.  I was seeing justice as white, glaring and harsh – showing every flaw – instead of yellow, shining softly and warmly like the morning sun – revealing gently but not roughly exposing shortcomings.  God was inviting me to see what happens when blue mercy and yellow injustice meet.  Combined they make green.  The area between mercy and justice isn’t gray, without color.  The area is green, fresh like spring, giving just enough yellow light to expose and just the right amount of blue water to wash away the sin and refresh the soul.  Green, the color of new life, justice mixed with mercy, brings restoration and refreshment.

Are you seeing the world without color in black and white and gray?  Ask God to reveal his world of color to you.  It's beautiful.

Restoration

Have you ever felt God’s restoration happening within you? One morning recently I wrote in my journal, “I feel like You are building things back into me. I feel like the Bionic Woman; You are putting me back together, stronger and better. Like Jamie Sommers, the Bionic Woman, I am dealing with the changes themselves and the emotions attached to them. Like Jamie, who belonged to the agency which saved her life, I am not my own, I belong to You.”


After a parachuting accident, Jamie’s doctor said, “It’s amazing she’s alive at all. Her legs have so many breaks we still haven’t counted them all. The hemorrhaging from her right ear seems to indicate interior damage to the cochlea and corti. And her right arm and shoulder are completely….” Jamie deals with acceptance of her bionic legs, arm, and ear. She has to learn how to use all the new parts, going through lengthy physical therapy.

I find myself dealing with acceptance of the restorations God is making within me. Some the changes are familiar parts, like Jamie’s legs and arms; but some of the changes are more powerful than they were before, like the internal bionic workings of Jamie’s legs and arms. Knowing the weight of these alterations creates a sense of accountability.

While the government agency that foot the bill for her restoration had yet to ask for repayment, when the opportunity arose for her to serve her country, Jamie wanted to take the opportunity our of gratitude. She said, “They saved my life. Now I’m going to return that favor.” Christ paid the price for my salvation and subsequent restorations. Out of gratitude, I want Him to use these improvements for His purposes and His glory. The agency saved Jamie’s life so it could use her as an agent. However, Oswald Chambers writes, “We are not saved only to be instruments for God, but to be His sons and daughters. He does not turn us into spiritual agents but into spiritual messengers, and the message must be a part of us.”

Jamie’s desire to become an agent out of gratitude reminds me of Oswald Chambers comment that “Even the natural heart of the unsaved will serve if called upon to do so, but it takes a heart broken by conviction of sin, baptized by the Holy Spirit, and crushed into submission to God’s purpose to make a person’s life a holy example of God’s message.” As a result I know that when I feel crushed by my circumstances, God’s restoration is available. Seeking and accepting His restoration allows the gospel to be advanced because I am one of His living letters for others to read.

I feel like God has taken my broken places and restored them even better than they were. He can again shape my dreams and life for His purpose.

Would you like God to restore your broken places so you can live for Him? Lord, please show me Your purpose in my circumstances (past, present and future). I offer myself to be Your messenger.

The Bionic Woman pic from http://bionic.wikia.com/wiki/The_Bionic_Woman; the quotations are from The Six-Million-Dollar Man tv series.

Listening

“The key to faith is FOCUS. Where we focus our attention determines our level of trust in God” (Charles Stanley).

Warm days in winter are nice unless you have bats in your chimney. When the temperature rises, the bats wake up from hibernation hungry. Inevitably, one gets disoriented and instead of going up the chimney outside, it comes down the chimney through the fireplace into the house. In January, we had a warm day and a bat stealthily infiltrated our living space. It managed to make it unnoticed to the second floor where one of our cats pounced on it outside the bathroom door.

I was on the other side of the door and heard the bat squeaking. The cat enjoys squeaky toys, especially ones that move. The bat was not interested in playing with the cat, so the bat slipped under the bathroom door to escape. I did not enjoy sharing the small space with the bat. My hero, my husband, later told me the bat was lying on the bathroom floor not flapping around as I imagined. Either the cat exhausted the bat or my shrieking stunned it.

In the mornings following the traumatic episode, I am hyper-focused. I am watchful for any bat activity as I come down the stairs. With no bat sightings, I fix my cup of coffee and sit down at the dining room table. The cat sits on alert on the hearth – listening – expectantly. I watch the cat listen intently. Ready to take cover, I notice that EVERYTHING in our house imitates the bats’ sounds. Even the light bulbs in the light fixture over my head make a bat-like ping as they warm up. It is nerve wracking.

While watching the cat and listening to the house, I wonder if I watch for and listen for the Holy Spirit as intently. I decide I don’t usually; however, when I am focused and aware, I am ready to move at the first sign of action, trusting God to guide me.

Lord, raise my awareness of Your Spirit’s doings and promptings. Help me to be expectantly watchful and ready to move.

Call Me Jonah

Call me Jonah.
I'm not sure what God thought was special about Jonah, but he was
special enough for God to listen to Jonah's argument,
special enough for God to pursue him,
to conjure a storm to get his attention,
special enough for God to summon a large fish to swallow him,
to give him three days free lodging in the fish's belly,
special enough for God to use to save a nation,
special enough for God to give yet one more oject lesson.

Call me Jonah,
for I, like Jonah, argued with God over an assignment.
I, like Jonah, hid from God, ran from God, slept to avoid God,
saw the storm of God come through, and ended up in the depths for a time.
It is now time to be vomited out, to be reborn, raised up,
resurrected, and returned to service.

Call me Jonah,
for I am skeptical, hesistant, detached.

Call me Jonah,
for I am liable to argue again and blame God for His merciful ways.

Call me Jonah,
for I will surely need another object lesson and another.

Call me Jonah.

Call me.

I will go.